This photo might as well adorn the back of a milk carton.

NEWMARKET, Ontario—The Canadian band Glass Tiger’s worst fears have become a reality: despite pleading for fans to not forget the five musicians when they’re gone, most people do not recall the band’s existence.

The average music fan was unable to identify the band by name when played a snippet of “Don’t Forget Me (When I’m Gone),” even though Glass Tiger topped the charts with that song, and collected a grand total of five Juno Awards (whatever those might be) in the mid-1980s.

“Um, um, Bryan Adams!” guessed Susie Brinks, 36, who was wearing a Corey Hart “World Tour ’87″ t-shirt at the time of the on-the-street interview. “I’d never forget that. I had a huge crush on him…and Howard Jones, if you want full disclosure.”

Although Adams did sing backup vocals on “Don’t Forget Me,” it seems fair to say that Brinks had indeed forgotten Glass Tiger, as she confessed when the answer was revealed.

“Who?” she asked.

In other results:

• 42-year-old Jake Rima thought the tune was sung by White Lion, which delivered winning tunes such as “Wait” and “When the Children Cry” during the late 1980s. “At least I was in the same realm of the animal kingdom,” Rima said.
• Jenny Timcook, 34, said that as a young girl, she and the neighborhood kids would give “air band” performances of this song and others such as the Bangles’ “Walk Like an Egyptian” and Whitney Houston’s “How Will I Know?” When pressed for the band who sang the song, Timcook replied, “As far as I’m concerned, that song will always belong to ‘Jenny and the Leg Warmers.’”
• Stephen Kimm, 33, punched the interviewer in the face and was charged with simple assault.

Members of Glass Tiger were to be contacted for comment, but Music or Space Shuttle? reporters forgot to call them.

And in a related story, Brit-rockers The Outfield have lost your love. This does appear to be an accidental occurrence; in the past, the band repeatedly stated they did not want to lose your love (tonight, to be more specific). Insiders believe the loss may have coincided with the return of Josie, who had been vacationing far away.