My job sometimes requires me to spend a lot of my day in the car. Today was one of those days with a few hours of windshield time. I don’t mind too much. It gives me time to think, reflect on my life and most importantly listen to great music. So, on days like today I sit back, relax and turn up the tunes. After four hours alone in the car though, I tend to have a few random and mostly moronic thoughts. These are just a few of the revelations I came away with on the road today.

Bon Iver is Pretty Awesome

I have never been a big fan of the 2011 darlings of indie rock. I always found the high register singing of the lead man Justin annoying and indecipherable. Why do you sing so high that no one understands you? The music was always pretty good but I couldn’t get over the vocals. Bon Iver’s song “Towers” played several times on my favorite SiriusXM channel today and I fought the urge to skip it.

I asked myself: “Hey Todd. Wasn’t your #4 Album of 2011 Future Islands, On the Water?”

My answer back: “Well, actually it was my #5 Album of 2011. Why do you ask?”

My response to me: “Doesn’t that have some pretty shitty and distracting vocals?”

My response back to me responding: “Touché. By the way, you smell terrific today my handsome friend”

So I realized that I need to get past the vocals and just enjoy the music. Who cares about lyrics anyways? Kurt Cobain is considered a genius and no one new what the fuck he was singing either. Here’s the video for Bon Iver’s “Towers”.

Catherine Wheel Should Have Been Way Bigger

I had a couple of Catherine Wheel CD’s in the early 90’s but didn’t give them much airplay. There were a few go-to tracks that I would play on occasion but that was really the extent of my listening. After flipping to the classic alt-rock channel I heard Catherine Wheel’s “Black Metallic”. Holy balls, that song is good. With oozing soft vocals and washed out guitars, it’s a 7 minute long shoegazer’s wet dream. I don’t know what I was thinking back then. I totally missed the boat on these guys. Check it out for yourselves.

Women Text While Driving

I’m not trying to be sexist here. I’m just going by scientific data gathered firsthand with my genetically superior man-brain. Several times today, I noticed that if you roll up to a car driving slowly in the fast lane, it is usually some ditzy dame texting. She’s probably texting her friends about getting her period, not getting her period, the perfect lipstick or that bitch Kathy from accounting that she knows ate her yogurt from the office refrigerator.

OMG! THE YOGURT HAD MY NAME ON IT! THAT BITCH IS TOTES CRAY! 😡

So quit the texting while driving all you batty broads out there! 10 and 2 baby doll. 10 and 2.

I Am Very Self-Conscious When I Rage Against the Machine

That’s right. I only rock out with no inhibition until another car drives up along side me. Then I react as if it’s a police car and I have a warrant out for my arrest. (Just act natural and no one will know you were Steve Perry’ing your way through the na na na’s at the end of  “Lovin’,Touchin’,Squeezin’”).

This is actually contrary to most opinions of what you should do if you are cruising around town with a warrant and you see the police. Most people will tell you to turn up your radio and belt it out like you haven’t a care in the world. Then the police will think, “There’s no way that could be the serial killer we’re looking for. He’s much too carefree. Carry on sir. Godspeed.”

All in all it was a pretty good day.  Plenty of tunes. Plenty of dangerous texting. If you see me cruising down the interstate sometime, go ahead and wave. I might just stop my Steve Perry impersonation and wave back.