Lazy-Eyed Barbie Made Another Record

That’s right, Paris Hilton must have been feeling as though people weren’t hating her enough lately because she recorded quite possibly the worst song ever made. The song “Drunk Text” was leaked on the internet a week ago and I had to share it here. You might be wondering “What does an uber-rich pseudo celebrity write a song about?”. The only things she knows of course. Going to “the club”, texting and being completely insufferable. She doesn’t actually sing the song . She sort of talk/moans in that annoying reality show bitch voice. “Drunk Text” starts out with a shitty dance beat and after the first lyric you quickly get to see the lack of depth of this vapid waste of skin.

I went out to the club the other night
To, you know, dance with my bitches

I feel sorry for her bitches. Here is my favorite lyric though.

You take the word sex, and mix it with texting
It’s called sexting
When you add drunk sexting
The words just don’t make sense

Thanks for the definition, genius. We never would have figured that one out on our own. There are quite a few more of these lyrical gems throughout the song. Check it out for yourself. You can listen to “Drunk Text” in it’s entirety below. Or see the equally awful video at