Monthly Archives: March 2012

Mar 11 2012

MoSS? Madness 2012 Selection Sunday

It’s that time of year again. Time for MoSS? Madness baby! We’ve taken 64 of the greatest rock bands and musicians from the last 50 years, and using bracketology methods only understood by NASA mathematicians, we have the match-ups ready for the round of 64.

Each of our regions have some interesting first round match-ups. The East Region will have a meeting between two hard rock classics when #3 Led Zeppelin goes up against #14 Black Sabbath. The West Region will have a first round match-up of R&B heavyweights when #4 Stevie Wonder meets #13 Al Green. The bigger battles will be fought in the trenches by the middle seeds like in the Midwest Region match-up between #8 John Lennon and #9 Public Enemy. Will the former Beatles’ solo work be enough to beat rap immortals Chuck D and Flavor Flav? You, the readers, will decide. That’s right, over the next few weeks you will be choosing which artist moves on to ultimately become the MoSS? Madness 2012 Champion.

First things first. We have our play-in match-up between Right Said Fred and Dexy’s Midnight Runners. These one hit wonders have to earn the opportunity to go up against the East Region #1 seed The Beatles. Review the aforementioned one hit wonders and make your selection below. The winner will be announced before the Round of 64 starts on Thursday.

http://youtu.be/39YUXIKrOFk

VS

Mar 8 2012

More Road Trip Revelations

My job sometimes requires me to spend a lot of my day in the car. Today was one of those days with a few hours of windshield time. I don’t mind too much. It gives me time to think, reflect on my life and most importantly listen to great music. So, on days like today I sit back, relax and turn up the tunes. After four hours alone in the car though, I tend to have a few random and mostly moronic thoughts. These are just a few of the revelations I came away with on the road today.

Bon Iver is Pretty Awesome

I have never been a big fan of the 2011 darlings of indie rock. I always found the high register singing of the lead man Justin annoying and indecipherable. Why do you sing so high that no one understands you? The music was always pretty good but I couldn’t get over the vocals. Bon Iver’s song “Towers” played several times on my favorite SiriusXM channel today and I fought the urge to skip it.

I asked myself: “Hey Todd. Wasn’t your #4 Album of 2011 Future Islands, On the Water?”

My answer back: “Well, actually it was my #5 Album of 2011. Why do you ask?”

My response to me: “Doesn’t that have some pretty shitty and distracting vocals?”

My response back to me responding: “Touché. By the way, you smell terrific today my handsome friend”

So I realized that I need to get past the vocals and just enjoy the music. Who cares about lyrics anyways? Kurt Cobain is considered a genius and no one new what the fuck he was singing either. Here’s the video for Bon Iver’s “Towers”.

Catherine Wheel Should Have Been Way Bigger

I had a couple of Catherine Wheel CD’s in the early 90’s but didn’t give them much airplay. There were a few go-to tracks that I would play on occasion but that was really the extent of my listening. After flipping to the classic alt-rock channel I heard Catherine Wheel’s “Black Metallic”. Holy balls, that song is good. With oozing soft vocals and washed out guitars, it’s a 7 minute long shoegazer’s wet dream. I don’t know what I was thinking back then. I totally missed the boat on these guys. Check it out for yourselves.


Women Text While Driving

I’m not trying to be sexist here. I’m just going by scientific data gathered firsthand with my genetically superior man-brain. Several times today, I noticed that if you roll up to a car driving slowly in the fast lane, it is usually some ditzy dame texting. She’s probably texting her friends about getting her period, not getting her period, the perfect lipstick or that bitch Kathy from accounting that she knows ate her yogurt from the office refrigerator.

OMG! THE YOGURT HAD MY NAME ON IT! THAT BITCH IS TOTES CRAY! 😡

So quit the texting while driving all you batty broads out there! 10 and 2 baby doll. 10 and 2.

I Am Very Self-Conscious When I Rage Against the Machine

That’s right. I only rock out with no inhibition until another car drives up along side me. Then I react as if it’s a police car and I have a warrant out for my arrest. (Just act natural and no one will know you were Steve Perry’ing your way through the na na na’s at the end of  “Lovin’,Touchin’,Squeezin’”).

This is actually contrary to most opinions of what you should do if you are cruising around town with a warrant and you see the police. Most people will tell you to turn up your radio and belt it out like you haven’t a care in the world. Then the police will think, “There’s no way that could be the serial killer we’re looking for. He’s much too carefree. Carry on sir. Godspeed.”

All in all it was a pretty good day.  Plenty of tunes. Plenty of dangerous texting. If you see me cruising down the interstate sometime, go ahead and wave. I might just stop my Steve Perry impersonation and wave back.

Mar 6 2012

MoSS? Monthly Mixtape: March 2012

(All of these artists will perform at Mission Creek Festival, March 27-April 1 in Iowa City.)

Side A : Chris’ Picks

1. Bowerbirds, “In the Yard”

2. The Poison Control Center, “Torpedoes on Tuesday”

3. Black Milk, “Give the Drummer Sum”

4. Little Scream, “Cannons”

5. Dirty Beaches, “Lord Knows Best”

Side B : Todd’s Picks

1. Magnetic Fields, “Andrew in Drag”

2. The War On Drugs, “Baby Missiles”

3. Oberhofer, “HEART”

4. Gardens and Villa, “Orange Blossom”

5. Sharon Van Etten, “We are Fine”

Mar 5 2012

Surprisingly, something by Ke$ha is so money

20120305-215511.jpgThe first time I had one of those “I’m an old man who just doesn’t understand kids these days” moments came courtesy of Ke$ha.

She was playing SNL; I was one of about eight people in the entire universe who hadn’t heard “Tik Tok” at this point. Needless to say, the astronaut-flanked, auto-tuned-to-the-max, stars-and-stripes-cape adorned sorta-hottie on the stage didn’t exactly wow me. I was confused, a little pissed, even, but not awestruck.

Even as nothing more than a mainstream pop tune, this was shit. Throw “Tik Tok” up against something like “Bad Romance” and you quickly surmise that the girl with the dollar sign in her name is nothing but a broke-ass poseur compared to the relative sophistication of Lady G.

So you can imagine my knee-jerk repulsion when I heard that Ke$ha was covering Bob Dylan.

And you can’t imagine how much I liked the rendition of “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right,” found below. (This is part of an Amnesty International anniversary tribute collection honoring Dylan.)

No auto-tune. No lame club beats. No grating synths. Just a young woman pouring emotion into a song by someone she respects. Some cool strings, too.

This melancholy version doesn’t match the whimsy of Dylan, but that’s just another reason why I like Ke$ha’s cover. It’s all so unexpected, from the tone she takes to the fact that underneath the auto-tune and stupid party-girl facade there’s an appealing, authentic voice and something resembling an artistic vision. Or at least an idea of how to sound somewhat authentic.

Is it simply good source material that makes it work? Is it nothing more than extremely lowered expectations that leave me impressed, that this really isn’t any better than something you’d hear at any weeknight karaoke session?

Is this one song the music equivalent of Marlon Wayans’ performance in Requiem for a Dream, an absolute one-off of brilliance amid a filmography of Scary Movies and White Chicks?

I’m not counting on Ke$ha completely turning over a new leaf, dropping the idiotic persona in favor of more fulfilling artistry–pulling a Clooney, so to speak. You know, doing some mainstream, money-making gigs in order to do whatever the fuck I want to do (and usually do it well) for the rest of my life.

If nothing else, we’ve got this song to consider. And perhaps she will change.

Let’s hope so…and the sooner, the better. Clock’s ticking…

Mar 5 2012

Lazy-Eyed Barbie Made Another Record

That’s right, Paris Hilton must have been feeling as though people weren’t hating her enough lately because she recorded quite possibly the worst song ever made. The song “Drunk Text” was leaked on the internet a week ago and I had to share it here. You might be wondering “What does an uber-rich pseudo celebrity write a song about?”. The only things she knows of course. Going to “the club”, texting and being completely insufferable. She doesn’t actually sing the song . She sort of talk/moans in that annoying reality show bitch voice. “Drunk Text” starts out with a shitty dance beat and after the first lyric you quickly get to see the lack of depth of this vapid waste of skin.

I went out to the club the other night
To, you know, dance with my bitches

I feel sorry for her bitches. Here is my favorite lyric though.

You take the word sex, and mix it with texting
It’s called sexting
When you add drunk sexting
The words just don’t make sense

Thanks for the definition, genius. We never would have figured that one out on our own. There are quite a few more of these lyrical gems throughout the song. Check it out for yourself. You can listen to “Drunk Text” in it’s entirety below. Or see the equally awful video at perezhilton.com

http://vimeo.com/37622849

Mar 2 2012

From the MoSS? Pit: Memoryhouse/Tiny Fireflies

an empty glass that once contained Bell's stout aleTodd and I spent the first night of March knocking back “14s” (you know, 7&7s) and the finest beverages offered by Bell’s (the stout and Two-Hearted Ale, to be specific) in the heart of The Mill in downtown Iowa City. While one could go to The Mill simply for the drinks and/or the ambience, we were also there to hear Memoryhouse, a nifty shoegazey/dreampoppy outfit from Toronto.

What we didn’t expect was a killer set by the opener, Tiny Fireflies—described on one blog as a “Chicago pop supergroup.” I don’t know about the “supergroup” classification, but the group was solid, possibly even on par with the headliners.

Tiny Fireflies proved a much more enjoyable experience compared with the last opening act we caught in Iowa City. Of course, that was Kreayshawn, one half of the odd pairing with Neon Indian. We spent a good deal of the Kreayshawn show hanging out on the ped mall or drowning our sorrows at the bar inside the lame venue, the Union Bar. (Or having senior pictures thrust toward us—OK, toward Todd—by under-21 coeds in an attempt to get drinks purchased for them.) So no, the bar wasn’t set very high, but within a few notes of the soundcheck, we knew we were in for something good.

Ethereal, jangly, low-end-driven…well, I could continue to list adjectives, but listen for yourself. The song below is called “Picture Perfect”; it’s the forthcoming single.

You’ll notice at the 30-second mark that two dudes decide to get a closer look at the performance, standing directly in front of the stage, flanking Kristine the singer. As you can see in the video, it was equal parts amusing, annoying, and unsettling?

Anyway, Tiny Fireflies played a handful of tunes; many of them had qualities that brought to mind The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, which is an OK thing to these ears. And they were excited about staying in a hotel with a pool, which was just kinda cute.

Memoryhouse didn’t disappoint when they took the stage. One of the highlights was “The Kids Were Wrong,” the second song on the recently released debut album, The Slideshow Effect. The live drums were augmented by some pounding programmed beats, giving the song some serious backbone. (I moved to get a better angle; please excuse the first 20 seconds or whatever.)

Another highlight came toward the end of the set. The guitar line winds through the Mill, and I think to myself, “How blatant of a My Bloody Valentine ripoff can you get?” until I realized they were covering My Bloody Valentine. I flipped the phone camera on about halfway through the song. (And yes, that is me yelling “Loveless FTW!” at the end of the song.)

All in all, good night out.

Memoryhouse

Tiny Fireflies

Future material for dispatches from the MoSS? Pit:

  • March 30: The War on Drugs/Dirty Beaches/Wet Hair (Gabe’s)
  • April 24: Sleigh Bells (IMU Main Lounge)
  • May 2: M83 (The Pageant, St. Louis)
  • June 11: Destroyer (Blue Moose Tap House)
Mar 2 2012

Exploring the ’80s Movie Montage: The “We Can Fix It Up” Montage

We all love the movie montage. It’s the perfect way to show a lot of action in a short period of time. This was a very popular movie making technique in the ’80s. There were many different versions, but this time around I’m going to focus on the “We Can Fix It Up” montage.

 

There are 4 basic parts

  1. The kick ass ’80s song.
  2. Let’s assess the damage or What did we get ourselves into?
  3. We gotta get to work. This house/mill/boat ain’t gonna fix itself and we need a place to live/dance/win a regatta.
  4. Bask in our own awesomeness. After a tough 2-3 minutes we have ourselves a brand new house/mill/boat!

Revenge of the Nerds

Those lovable nerds need a place to live after those asshole jocks boot them out of the dorms. Of course, all they can find is this former crack den of a fixer upper.

1. Kick Ass ’80s Song: Bone Symphony, “One Foot in Front of the Other”

2. The group gathers in front of their future home and and try to choose between getting to work or murdering their super nerd leader Lewis.

3. The nerd gang hitch up their slacks even further and get to work. Things get fixed despite the use of child labor, blind painters, and Booger getting everyone high.

4. Check it out. Meth Lab to Nerd Lair in less that 5 minutes! If only those dickhead jocks would leave them alone.

[After a long legal battle with FOX Entertainment, they pulled the clip. Jerks. – Todd]

http://youtu.be/0I4kopeQRGY

Footloose

Footloose is chock full of montage goodness (See previous post on the Dance Training Montage). This time Kevin Bacon and his crew of backup dancers need to get the old mill ready for the big dance.

1. Kick Ass ’80s Song:  Kenny Loggins, “I’m Free (Heaven Helps The Man)”

2. Sensing that they can conquer any obstacle put in front of them, the kids skip the assessment phase and practice some synchronized dirt biking.

3. The gang ditches the bikes and gets to work. Chris Penn huffs helium while everyone else sweep-dances the place clean.

4. Finally, Lori Singer finds the light switch. When she flips it on everyone erupts with glee as they realize the movie set crew already spent 2 weeks decorating for them.

http://youtu.be/XGtmo35PFZw

One Crazy Summer / Summer Rental

Two very similar themed movies. In both movies, the lead character visits an east coast summer vacation town and quickly has a run in with the local rich dude asshole. Also in both movies, they decide to resolve their differences by facing off in a sailing regatta. Of course, the rich dude asshole has the best boat in town and has dominated the regatta for the last 200 years or so. And of course, the new guy in town has to scrape up a boat that was either once a floating restaurant or had been lying sideways on a beach.

1. Kick Ass ’80s Songs: “Unknown Instrumental Boat Building Boogie” / Jimmy Buffet, “Turning Around”

2. Both boats are either full of holes or covered in barnacles but we can’t stop now. There’s a guy I barely know mad at me. I’ll be leaving in a day and I will never see him again, but I have to prove to him and the town that I’m the better man.

3. Both crews get to work. Once again, things get fixed despite the use of child labor, inept workers, and another Booger sighting.

4. After a little scraping, a coat of paint, and some chewing gum, the boats are ready to go up against the rich dude asshole. Oh hey, don’t worry about the other 50 boats entered in the race. Just focus on the rich dude asshole. Now, let’s win that regatta!

http://youtu.be/2nqOUkqausI

http://youtu.be/MiDI73-AZwc